Obi-Wan Kenobi crosses over to Fortnite with new skin, glider, bundle
To the surprise of no one, Obi-Wan Kenobi is the latest character crossover in Fortnite, joining the battle royale on May 26. This is just a day before Disney Plus’s wise, old Jedi series debuts.
That crazy old hermit’s blue lightsaber already made an appearance in the game, when Fortnitebrought the elegant weapon for a more civilized age back to the island on May the Fourth. Now, players will get the Obi-Wan Kenobi outfit, which includes the “Desert Essentials” Back Bling. What’s that? It’s “A collection of tools that are ideal for living on an isolated desert planet.” Take a look at the above. This backpack is basically non-canon.
Fans also have the option to purchase “ObiWan’s Blade Pickaxe”, which is actually a blade and not a lightsaber. Also, ObiWan’s Message Emote can be purchased in Fortnite Item Shop starting May [************************************************************************************************************************] p.m. All of those items are available in the Fortnite Item Shop beginning May 26 at 8 p.m. EDT.
Those who pick up the Obi-Wan Kenobi Bundle (which packages everything above) will also pick up the “Kenobi, Surrounded” loading screen:
Fortnite kicks off the Obi-Wan celebration with the Obi-Wan Kenobi Cup on Sunday, May 22, which offers a chance to get the Obi-Wan skin and Back Bling early. The weapons brought back on May 4 (which includes the Stormtroopers’ E-11 blaster) will feature in the event. Scoring, regional time windows, and other rules are available at Epic Games’ official Fortnite blog.
Apple’s mixed reality headset challenges from Jony Ive to battery life, heat, cost, and lack of discipline
This follow-up report focuses on the difficulties Apple faced in developing its mixed reality headset. The Information confirms details that Bloomberg has provided in recent years. But it also digs deeper into the problems the project has faced from Jony Ive to the wearable’s power, battery, heat, cost, and even an alleged lack of discipline from the AR/VR team.
Earlier this week, The Information shared part one of this report. According to sources that have worked on the mixed reality headset team, early problems starting as far back as 2016 have included CEO Tim Cook not being a “champion” of the project, and Jony Ive shutting down the idea of making a VR headset pivoting it to the current AR/VR design.
Related: Bloomberg: Apple execs recently presented augmented reality headset to company board, suggesting product is close to launch
Part two of The Information’s report corroborates what Bloomberg reported in 2020, that Jony Ive also made the decision in 2019 for the headset team to ditch a design that worked with a base station to go with a less powerful but simpler headset that worked as a standalone device.
Two people who were familiar with the demonstrations said that
Apple’s CEO Tim Cook, and Jonathan Ive, then Chief Design Officer at Apple, viewed VR prototype headsets to show how they would compare. The headset that worked with a base station had superior graphics, including photorealistic avatars, while the stand-alone version depicted its avatars more like cartoon characters. Mike Rockwell, the Apple vice president in charge of the company’s AR/VR team, favored the headset with the base station, believing that Apple’s top brass wouldn’t accept the stand-alone version’s lower-quality visuals, according to the two people.
He was wrong. Ive had pushed for the stand-alone version of the headset since the early days of the project, according to a person familiar with it. Ive was ultimately supported by Apple’s top executives. Despite that, Rockwell still assured them he could make a great product. The choice has had lasting repercussions for the repeatedly delayed headset, which goes by the internal code-name of N301.
This decision is said to have caused many difficulties as the headset team tried to balance battery life and performance, while minimising heat generation so that people aren’t burned while using the device .”
Sources say the failure of Mike Rockwell – the headset lead – delivering “the high-quality mixed-reality experience he told Apple’s executives he would” is the primary reason the product has been delayed so many times.
According to three sources familiar with the matter,
Apple leaders are expecting an AR experience that is far superior to what Meta Platforms (parent company of Facebook) offers in graphics, body tracking, and latency. Latency refers back, as the delay between user movements and what they see on their screen. Even a tenth of a second delay between the user’s head movement and what is displayed on their headset can cause nausea.
There has also been division amongst the headset team as to what the target customer should be. Some say Jony Ive changing the course from a more powerful headset with a base station to a standalone device was the wrong move.
Some of those people place the blame on Ive, who they say fundamentally changed the purpose of the headset from a product that creatives and professionals would use at a desk to a portable device for consumers. These people believe that Apple should first have created a headset for professionals in order to inspire them to create content before making one available to consumers.
The Information’s new report shares details like integrating 14 cameras, solving video stream issues, and processor problems also being roadblocks.
Another design decision that has greatly added to the technical challenges for the Apple headset has been the inclusion of its 14 cameras, which allow it to capture everything from images of the outside world to facial expressions and body gestures.
Apple needed to create the Bora signal processor in order to process all the imagery. But Apple’s engineers have faced technical challenges getting Bora to work with the headset’s main processor, code-named Staten. The back-and-forth communication between the two chips increases latency, which can create nausea for people wearing the headset.
This meant that Apple needed to add another piece to the puzzle: a streaming codec. And reportedly that hasn’t been fully ironed out.
Even more challenges for the project have been a lack of discipline.
Prior to 2019, it had a freewheeling culture, operating almost like a startup within Apple, said four people familiar with the team. The employees brainstormed new features and tried out ideas that may never be realized.
Apple brought in Kim Vorrath, a veteran of the company to lead the project. Dan Riccio was later appointed hardware chief to supervise the mixed reality headset.
Vorrath created more structure in the group. Each team had to develop defining features to use with the headset’s software. This was to encourage them and increase accountability. After she joined, engineers were introduced to a concept she had used in software engineering known as the “six-week sprint,” said two people familiar with the matter.
Interestingly, even after Jony Ive departed Apple, some headset team members had to go to his home to get “approval on changes.”
A person who is familiar with the subject said that Ive has been working as a consultant for Apple ever since his departure. He also mentioned that Ive often helps the former team to refine their preference in camera placement, ergonomics, and battery life. According to two people, Ive still needed to travel from Cupertino, California to San Francisco to approve any changes.
Another interesting fact is that Ive tweaked headset designs over the years. His most recent preferences are for the battery to be worn with the headset and not integrated into the helmet.
Last but not least, cost has been a challenge. Apple appointed Dan Riccio, an executive to manage the project.
Reports from Bloomberg and The Information have suggested Apple is currently been looking at a price from above $2,000 to $3,000.
Death Stranding 2 in development, Norman Reedus says
Norman Reedus, the actor who plays Sam Bridges in Kojima Productions’ Death Stranding, says he’s currently making a follow-up to that game in a new interview. Speaking with Leo, a men’s style publication, Reedus said, “We just started the second one,” when discussing his work on the original Death Stranding.
Speaking about landing the role as a post-apocalyptic delivery man in Hideo Kojima’s game, Reedus said in the interview, “It took me maybe two or three years to finish all the MoCap sessions and everything. This takes much work. And then the game came out, and it just won all these awards, and it was a huge thing, so we just started part two of that.”
If news of a Death Stranding 2 sounds familiar, that’s because Reedus has talked about it before. Last August, Reedus told Brazilian outlet Adorocinema that he was “in negotiations” for a second Death Stranding — though it was unclear at the time if Reedus was referring to work on Death Stranding: Director’s Cut, which launched in September 2021. Now it appears that Reedus was actually referring to a sequel.
Polygon has reached out to Kojima Productions for clarification on Reedus’ statement and whether Death Stranding 2 is officially in development.
Kojima Productions has not officially announced a sequel to Death Stranding, which was originally released on PlayStation 4 in 2019, and later brought to PlayStation 5 and Windows PC. Kojima has teased several projects, including a new AAA videogame ,. However, Kojima Productions is also running a TV and film studios, so it is unclear what media those projects will be delivered in.
Tony Fadell talks iPod design considerations, illustrated by CT scans
It’s not unusual to hear Tony Fadell talk iPod, but a 20-minute video provides a new perspective as it’s illustrated by CT scans of three different iPod models.
Fadell discusses a variety of design considerations. The team was worried about reliability as the consumers – who are not used to such delicate devices in portable products – may treat the iPod more casually that they would a laptop …
.
For this reason, design of the ‘bumpers’ designed to protect the drive from the shock of being dropped casually onto a table was a key consideration.
Similar to the control wheel. For the original model, they needed the bearings to allow free rotation without ‘rocking’ from side to side. When they switched to a clickwheel, then the team actively wanted that rocking movement.
Fadell talks with Lumafield. This company rents CT scanners to researchers and companies who do not have the budget or the funds to purchase them but only need one temporarily. Software is also available that allows remote scans (or later) to be explored, without having to access the machine.
Accessible CT for engineers. Add X-ray vision to your daily toolkit. Lumafield’s simple-to-use hardware combined with powerful cloud-based software can solve difficult problems throughout product development, including initial design and mass production.
Lumafield offers a deep look inside objects that allows you to view features previously hidden.
Lumafield’s Neptune CT scanner is designed to be part of your team’s essential engineering toolkit. It’s at home in an office or workshop and offers an easy-to-use, AI-driven interface that lets anyone run scans.
Lumafield takes the friction out of inspection with Neptune, a groundbreaking easy-to-use CT scanner paired with Voyager, powerful cloud-based software that solves problems from initial design through mass manufacturing.
Lumafield’s Voyager analysis program turns scans into actionable and quantifiable information. Visualize, analyze, and share your data in real time with nothing but a web browser.
As a promotional exercise, the company offers a ‘scan of the month’ microsite in which they share scans of everything from gadgets to lego figures.
Lumafield is also a company, that while in stealth-mode, decided the technology they were building was just too dang cool to keep quiet about.
ScanoftheMonth began as a scan of LEGO Minifigures. It was intended to satisfy a deep desire to share the magic and wonder of CT […]
This month we explore the evolution of the iPod from the inside out with our Lumafield Neptune CT scanner, guided by none other than Tony Fadell, the inventor of the iPod and the founder of Nest […]
Because the iPod engineering team had only eight months to pull the design together, the early prototypes left lots of room for optimization. The enclosure’s empty space can be seen in a CT scan. Steve Jobs famously dunked one in an aquarium, pointing to the air bubbles rising from the device to show that it could get smaller.
The scans explore the original iPod, a 6th-gen iPod Classic, and a 1st-gen iPod Nano. You can watch the video here.
Apollo 47 is a one-page RPG with 1,199 additional pages of flavor text
You know those movies with people talking into headsets? Maybe it’s a heist film and someone’s crawling through an air duct, or it’s a science fiction film and a lonely astronaut is hurtling toward their doom. Whatever the context, that’s the vibe that game designer Tim Hutchings is trying to recreate with his latest project, Apollo 47 Technical Handbook, a one-page tabletop role-playing game with 1,199 additional pages of largely superfluous flavor text. It’s … a bold choice, to say the least.
But Hutchings isn’t just some random developer. He’s the author of, among other things, Thousand Year Old Vampire, one of the most critically acclaimed solo journaling games ever made, a concise and introspective investigation of how the long arc of history weighs on a person’s soul. Bradley University’s assistant professor of gaming design, he is responsible for educating young minds and guiding them into the game industry. A new game from Hutchings is sort of a big deal, even if it’s a weird one. Well, maybe especially if it’s a weird one.
Banana for scale. Photo: Charlie Hall/Polygon
“I pride myself on being an odd jobs person,” Hutchings told me during a recent interview. “Yeah, I used to have — and this is one of my sad secrets — a pretty vigorous showing-artwork-in-galleries-and-museums life. I still do that. I still do all these things, but in a lesser sense since having a kid. [I’m a] Television commercials and strange high-end videos post [production] guys. Last night I was working on opening credits for a feature film for Netflix. […] All kinds of shit.”
The work he most enjoys, though, is designing games.
“The only reason I make games is because games satisfy a need, the creative need, that art never did,” Hutchings said. “And so I bring art thinking — for better or worse, and all the self indulgences and miseries that includes — to the way I think about games.”
With that in mind, Apollo 47 has to be viewed as a kind of commentary on the current state of TTRPGs. Its very existence begs the question: Why do we need an entire library of books, hundreds of pages each, to just play pretend with our friends? It’s that question in part that brought Hutchings from a game with one page to a game with 1,200. It took more than three years, he said, to get things just right. Here are a few excerpts from our conversation, lightly edited for concision and clarity:
Polygon: You said you came to games after becoming somewhat dissatisfied with the art scene. What are the things that art never brought us that you’re bringing with games?
Tim Hutchings: Well, I am not bringing anything worthwhile to the table. I am simply doing that thing where Moe Howard from The Three Stooges falls on his side and he’s running in a circle on the ground and pivoting on his shoulder. That’s what I do, and it makes me laugh. As I do this, many things seem to fly out of my hands and others are able to follow suit. This is what actually happened. Inadvertently, I created a popular role-playing games [called Thousand Year Old Vampire].
With some artistic shrapnel.
Just pure chance that it happened that way.
Now you sent me Apollo 47 on purpose, though. Is this what you are looking for?
That’s a one-page role playing game. You’ll see it at the very, very, very beginning. It’s kind of like a checklist page with some strikeouts and redactions. And then the rest of the next 20 or so pages are kind of support materials on how to play it right, and maybe some ideas like place names and things you do. And then the other 1,170-ish pages are NASA manuals, in no particular order, that all relate to technical aspects of the Apollo missions, which you can, if you’re so inclined, use as prompts to drive your play.
The index includes penciled notations by the author. Photo: Charlie Hall/Polygon
Tell me how you came to be inspired to write this.
I had been really interested in the kind of communication space of people on headsets telling other people what to do. As if we are doing the heist and I am crawling through the airducts. There should be one to my left, and then I’m directly above the bank vault, right? You’re saying that to me through my headset. I then say, “Well there are bars and I can hear scrambling inside the ductwork.” It’s a great space and it’s something I want to explore.
I kept making these games that just weren’t working, and then at some random point about three years ago I wrote Apollo 47. It was a small game that sat there for quite a while. And then it became that tremendous book. Again, the stupid art spin requires that things that I create have multiple purposes to exist; they can be aware of their own existence; and that they say things that I find interesting about form and format. This was the moment that this one-pager became a hugely overstuffed book.
The thing I was wrestling with is how do you create resolvable conflict within a two-person headset space that is about someone in another room. This was something I struggled with often. How do you resolve this problem? But then I suddenly realized, “Oh, fuck! It’s this NASA headset thing.” It’s not astral projection psychologists from the 1960s and 70s — which was one version of a game like that I made, where they’re describing going through astral projection with one person saying, “Do you see, do you know this shape?” and the other person describing their astral visions, right? There’s so many weird formats.
I don’t work hard. At anything. I don’t iterate. I don’t do all the shit you’re supposed to do.
The vignette that I think of when I think about this is Airplane, and the white zone and the red zone parking where they’re talking over the PA system. What I find appealing about the whole thing is that there’s chatter about what they are talking about but there’s also what they actually feel and how they’re emoting.
What sort of meta layers have been generated in playtesting? What have your players really been discussing with each other while they go through this?
I am not a subtle or smart or a person-with-great-depths. These things do not allow me to see the deeper conversations that are coming from them. However, I am not particularly bright or attentive. Therefore, I have never witnessed people truly dig in and engage in multiple conversations. It’s very absorbing to actually play this — it’s how I understand it in the moment.
Photo: Charlie Hall/Polygon
You’re not being a character. It’s a small, awkward, and verbal area that you are trying to force into. And then people keep changing it and morphing it and the doors keep opening, and then suddenly it expands, and you all find some other thing to do. There is no room for third-tier, subtle play. It’s possible for smart people to do this.
What do you want players to come away from this with?
What are you hoping players will take from this experience, grow or bring with them?
I think one of the really big — because again, my “secret art agenda” is like a Hollis Frampton-esque ability to sit with silence; to sit and just watch systems quietly express themselves, and not have to have anything break the pattern or the system or anything happening. We’re going to watch ZornsLemma, which is a film where you just watch letters, things that shouldn’t show letters scroll by on a film screen for 30 minutes. What is a game equivalent of that that’s still engaging? Perhaps this could be it?
That’s a huge reach for me to say that. It’s a great skill to have, but I believe that sitting still is something that most games don’t encourage. This game is an example of that. It’s also a very buzzy and hard game for our brains to master. That’s what makes it fun.
A deck of cards is available on DriveThruRPG which Hutchings refers to as a “terribly unneeded vestigial tail.” Some include snippets of rules or prompts. Some include a different moonscape. “If you decide you need a prompt,” Hutchings said, “you can flip over one of the boring moonscapes and on the other side is a slightly — very slightly — less boring moonscape.” Photo: Charlie Hall/Polygon and Photo: Charlie Hall/Polygon
It’s also a uniquely Zoom-friendly game, I could totally dial up my friends and play the shit out of this and have a good night.
One of my favorite games [of Apollo 47] I ever played was just phone texts back and forth. It’s super fun and very satisfying.
It’s not that it needs a communications medium, it means whatever communication medium you have, the game can be modified to be people using that communication medium. You could leave notes on a tree and check them each day, or you could just stick notes to the trees with somebody and be like astronauts.
When you play the game, you’re not faking another communication medium. When we play Dungeons & Dragons we’re faking that we’re walking through dungeons and chatting and doing that kind of talk. We’re creating other spaces by doing all of these things. This is how we get into this particular space. We’re in whatever space we’re in, whether it’s the phone, or a video chat, or whatever.
Wow! Wow! We are pretending to be on the radio if we play this game at a table. It’s the best way to enjoy it. Damnnn.
Apollo 47 Technical Handbook is available now as a downloadable PDF, and as a physical book with a pay-what-you-want price. The minimum order is $33. 24 to cover the cost of materials.
Apollo 47 Technical Handbook was previewed using a physical copy provided by Tim Hutchings. Vox Media is an affiliate partner. These do not influence editorial content, though Vox Media may earn commissions for products purchased via affiliate links. You can find additional information about Polygon’s ethics policy here.
Genshin Impact 2. 7 update trailer shows off Yelan and Kuki Shinobu
It appears that Genshin Impact is going to be back to updating regularly after a facing some delays in April. On Friday, Hoyoverse revealed a trailer showing off the 2. 7 update, “Hidden Dreams in the Depths,” as part of a stream going over all the additions heading to the game. The 2. 7 update will bring the playable debut of new characters like the five-star Hydro bow user, Yelan, as well as Kuki Shinobu.
Traveler will embark on a new quest that takes him deep into the dark forests of The Chasm, Liyue. A trailer shows Traveler venturing into the depths with new characters like Yelan and Kuki Sinobu, as well as returning friends like the rambunctious Arataki Itto and Yanfei. Xiao, the conqueror of demons, will also appear in the story and from the looks of the trailer, might even need to be rescued by the Traveler.
Per the usual, the update will consist of two banners that boost drop rates for specific characters in two phases, each of which run three weeks. Phase 1 will include two banners: Discerner of Enigmas, which will feature Yelan, and Invitation to Mundane Life, which has Xiao. Phase 2 will include the banner, Oni’s Royale and will include both Arataki Itto and Kuki Shinobu on the same banner since she’s a four-star.
The rest of the stream provided more details about Yelan, Kuki Shinobu, and their gameplay. Yelan is a 5-star Hydro bow user and has a power which makes her almost invisible. Kuki Shinobu is a new Electro support character who wields a sword. The stream also showed events coming to the game, including a new combat challenge and rhythm game hosted by the Arataki Gang.
Genshin Impact codes from the patch 2. 7 livestream
Hoyoverse just wrapped up theGenshin Impactpatch 2. 7 preview livestream, showing off all sorts of details about the upcoming patch. Most importantly, we got several codes that award Primogems and other rewards shown during the stream. Our Genshin Impact 2. 7 livestream code list provides you with the three stream codes for rewards and explains how to redeem them.
The codes are as follow :
LANVJSFUD6CM
DTNUKTWCC6D9
HSNUKTXCCPWV
You’ll want to redeem these codes quickly, as they expire on May 21 at 12 a.m. EDT.
They not only reward Primogems but also grant Adventurer’s and Mora EXP for leveling up your characters.
How to redeem Genshin Impact gift codes
To redeem codes, you can log in and input them on the code redemption website. You can also input them in-game through the settings menu, but copy and pasting them in a browser is much easier.
Once you redeem the codes, you’ll get the rewards via in-game mail shortly after that.
Apple Music’s ‘Essentials Anniversaries’ collection resurfaces pivotal albums from over the years
Apple Music has a little-known feature called “Essentials Anniversaries” and today it’s highlighting Radiohead’s OK Computer celebrating its 25th anniversary. And beyond that, the collection features some of the most “game-changing” albums from as far as 60 years back along with behind-the-scenes radio episodes that include exclusive artist interviews and more.
Reported by MacStories, Apple Music’s Essentials Anniversaries is a feature that’s been available on the service for some time but has gone under the radar. Some may randomly see it recommended in the “For You” section but you can also find it by searching Apple Music for “Essentials Anniversaries” or with this direct link.
If you haven’t checked Essentials Anniversaries before, here’s how Apple describes it:
Essential are your favorite albums, and the ones that you rely on. These albums are classics and game-changers. They have shaped eras, careers and movements as well as moments in history. This is the place on Apple Music where we celebrate Essentials as they approach milestone anniversaries, with exclusive artist interviews, live events, and extended Editors’ Notes.
Featured essentials Anniversaires include an album, radio episode and videos.
Different Apple Music personalities host the new radio episodes that go behind the scenes for each Essentials album. Along with the Radiohead OK Computer feature today, there are over 50 others.
Apple has all albums organized in 5-year increments starting from 5-year anniversaries all the way to 60-year milestones.
Essentials Anniversaries have been flying under the radar so long highlights an Apple opportunity: There are many great content and collections on Apple’s platform, but it can be difficult to find them.
One tip to discover content, from the Browse section you can swipe to the very bottom to find links to sections like “Charts,” “Essentials,” “Kids,” “Music Videos,” and more.
More on Apple Music
In related Apple Music news, the platform is starting a new streaming concert series called ” Music Live” with Harry Styles kicking things off tonight, May 20 from New York.
Apple Music streaming Harry Styles concert on Friday in live performance push
Apple Music’s Zane Lowe just shared a new interview with Harry Styles, and the service is also highlighting the artist in the Browse tab.
Pebblebee Clip and Card smart trackers come with rechargeable batteries
Apple’s AirTag is perhaps one of the most popular mini trackers in the market today. It is being honored with related accessories that allow the small device to be attached to different objects.
The AirTag is a convenient tracker, so you can expect to see it compete with other products. Pebblebee wants to join the game by introducing new tracking products. Pebblebee Clip, and Pebblebee Card could be good alternatives to Apple’s AirTag. They are both rechargeable and affordable.
This little thing can help you locate missing items. It’s a very common problem among youth. But, admit it, you often forget when you placed your phone, car keys, or the remote control. Pebblebee can help with more than one product.
The AirTag alternative works with Find My, which means it will work with most Apple products like the iPhone, Mac, iPad, and even the Apple Watch. Like most trackers, Pebblebee products make use of Bluetooth wireless connectivity. As a result, both devices are ideal for locating nearby items by reporting to you the approximate location.
The Pebblebee Card and Clip include end-to-end encryption technology for the security and protection of the users. The process is also anonymous, which makes it very secure. Pebblebee also supports Android, and it is part of CrowdGPS.
Pebblebee Card and Pebblebee Clip are rechargeable, but their battery already lasts longer than usual. They also have a buzzer that can be used to keep track of items. Pebblebee’s Founder and Chief Technology Officer Daniel Daoura had this to say about the products: “Pebblebee Clip and Card are designed to put minds at ease the second they are attached to or slipped into something of value to a customer.”
The next-gen Pebblebee devices’ batteries can last up to six months on a single charge. They can reach up to 500 feet for tracking. Aside from the loud buzzer, they also come with LED indicator lights to help you locate an item. The industrial metal frame makes it easy for them to be found and connected.
Both work together with the Find My Network, but the Pebblebee App might be sufficient on its own. This mobile app lets you track your lost items precisely using light and sound. The app uses geolocation data to determine the location of an item. You can download the app from Google Play or the App Store.
So that security standards are always high and met, Pebblebee regularly checks for critical privacy updates. The Pebblebee Clip and Pebblebee Card come in two different forms. This small clip connects to keys, luggage and cameras. The Pebblebee Card is also rechargeable, but the battery can last up to up 12 months. The card is very slim and features a magnetic contact charging system. You can hear the alarm to let you know where it is.
You can use both the card and the clip every day. You don’t have to lose stuff now because these Pebblebee products will help you locate those items even if you forget. Each tracking device costs $29.99. You can get four clips for only $99.99. For more information, visit pebblebee.com or Amazon.
The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe review: This is not a review
This is not a review of The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe. If you clicked on this thinking that it would, in fact, be a review of The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe, I’m sorry to disappoint you, but that is not what this is.
Unfortunately for me, who agreed to review The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe for Polygon, to even describe the relationship between the The Stanley Parable (2013) and The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe (2022) is to ruin the entire experience of playing Ultra Deluxe, a game that is an extended meta joke about games. Because a review of a videogame isn’t meant to make the experience worse, there are very limited tools I have to write this review.
I sympathize, though, with your clicking on this and expecting it to be a review of The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe. Yes. That’s why I think so. If you have clicked on this not-review for the express purpose of deciding whether to buy and/or play this game, I have just the thing for you. Mike, hit ’em using the old Polygon Recommends. )
(Thanks, Mike. )
So there! Fret no more, would-be consumer. Though this is not a review of The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe, it should be clear now that Polygon has recommended The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe.
Phew. I feel better already. Don’t you?
(Note to self: Find a screenshot to put here. The screens of this game are all so boring, so maybe use something from Elden Ring. There are many of them. DO NOT FORGET TO DELETE THIS)
If that is all you wanted, then feel free to continue. This review is not The Stanley Parable Ultra Deluxe ,, a recommended game by Polygon.
…
…
OK, I think they’re gone now. It’s just you and me. Thanks for sticking in there. It’s hard to believe that I haven’t written a review for The Stanley Parable Ultra Deluxe .. Some of my favorite and most insightful moments in the game are
.
, and that one time when
. Those were great moments. Really great moments. Truly amazing stuff.
Maybe at this moment you find yourself doubting that I actually played this game. When reading reviews, one of our first assumptions is that the reviewer played some or all of the game to be able to form a cohesive opinion. To your credit, hypothetical skeptical reader, I could conceivably have not played this game and still written what I’ve written. It’s a valid, if somewhat conspiratorial, concern. To that end, here’s a screenshot of a system menu on my PlayStation 5 to assuage your concerns:
Image: Sony Interactive Entertainment via Polygon
How’s that for transparency? It’s not that I didn’t play The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe and thus could not write a review of The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe. No, no. It’s that I chose to not write a review of The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe.
Which leads us to the natural question of: Why would I choose to write the review this way?
I mean, Metacritic is going to have anything to do with it. This is a positive review? Is this Mixed? Is there an “Abstain” option on Metacritic? Although I do not know much about SEO, I can imagine that this review is not very well optimized. This will not impress advertisers. Elden Ring, Elden Ring, Elden Ring. That should be enough, even if Mike decides to publish it, as you all know. He wouldn’t be wrong, I would.
OK, if you’ve made it this far, you’ve proven yourself to be a Valued Platinum Reader(tm). So I’ll level with you: I wrote this review this way because if you are the kind of person who can make it to the end of this and not totally hate the reviewer (me), and furthermore you find that you are the kind of person who is actually kind of entertained by this whole “deconstruction of genre as extended joke” vibe I’m giving off, and even more furthermore you have at least once laughed or drolly smirked while reading this not-review, then you are in fact a person who should play The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe. Even if you’ve played the original. Perhaps especially if you’ve played the original.
Which is a long way of saying:
In conclusion The Stanley Parable : Ultra Deluxe Is a game that should be and can be played.
The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe was released April 27 on Linux, Mac, Nintendo Switch, PlayStation 4, PlayStation 5, Windows PC, Xbox One, and Xbox Series X. The game was nonreviewed on PlayStation 5 using a download code provided by Crows Crows Crows. Vox Media has affiliate partnerships. These do not influence editorial content, though Vox Media may earn commissions for products purchased via affiliate links. You can find additional information about Polygon’s ethics policy here. If you’d like to complain about this non-review of The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe, you can email michael.mahardy@polygon.com.
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